Love, and all the drama about it

Love. It's meant to be simple. It's really meant to be synonymous with the plain and simple feeling called happiness. Take an example of your parent's love for you, and yours in return to them. Or your love for your passion that keeps your heart ignited, and your goals in focus. Ain't that simple? But what about that girl whom you met a couple of days ago, and couldn't get her out of your head even till now. Whose smiling face has taken all over your mind. The thought of seeing whom is making you all impatient, and yet the anticipation of going up to her and getting into a conversation is giving you chills down the spine, isn't it love?

Maybe it's too soon to call it love. But what is that they say "love at first sight!"? Maybe it's that. Or maybe it's all illogical. Maybe it's mere infatuation, or attraction or plain affection. Anything else than "love" that the so profound English language has to offer. What I say, yes. It is too soon to call it love.

Feeling butterflies in your tummy when you see her, or getting goosebumps on a simple touch isn't love. Love is not mere excitement. It's much deeper. Much more unconditional. Much more profound than superficial. It's not the feeling of "liking" you develop for someone. Rather, it's the liking you develop for yourself when you're with that someone.

We are not who we think we are. Neither are we what others think we are. We are rather what we think others think we are. That is, we tend to be someone else's perception of us, rather than being our true selves. But being mature is all about getting comfortable in our own skin. Being grown up is all about discovering oneself through the journey of life. And when you find that one person with whom you feel you're your true self, that's when you've found that "special" someone in your life.

And you really don't need to get in a relationship until you've found that someone. Or rather, you may date people you find yourself attracted to, but you should be thoroughly sure about your feelings before calling it "Love". For one, it's too pure and too special a feeling to be liberally indulged in, and felt for every second person you find attractive. Moreover, it spares the other person a heartbreak over your misjudgment of your own feelings.

You must spend quality time with that person. Get to know them inside out. Each day, share your thoughts and feelings you've had for that day over stuff that matters to you. Do listen patiently and attentively to stuff that matters to them. Connect, or at least try to connect at an emotional - intellectual level.

See for yourself, whether you are really growing fond of that person. Whether you truly care about their well being without any intentions of hooking up with them. Whether or not you feel your self with them. Whether or not, hearing from them is the time of the day that you look forward to the whole day.

And even still, there is no one who can tell you whether or not it's love. It's something you just feel. It's love when you can, for sure, feel you can spend the rest of your life with her. Commit yourself to her and stay loyal. Have faith in your so special and so arduously established relationship. For in hard times, it's this faith that keeps the relationship from falling.

And it's not that you would regret that decision later on. For everyone does have second thoughts as to what if you fall for someone else later on? Being a guy has its own repercussions. The curse of getting attracted to any pretty face that crosses your path. But then being a guy, do have the spine to stay true to your commitment. 'cause in the end, it's she who matters.

You might indulge yourself in a couple of flings, exciting endeavors with ones you feel a sort of instant attraction, but it will all get over soon. And all you'd wish for would be to return back. But in this whole process, such words would be said, things done and damage inflicted, that return might become impossible. Leaving you both with nothing but loneliness and agony.

So, go out, find yourself a pretty and a cute face, explore their heart and thoughts, discover your feelings for them and theirs for yourselves while creating beautiful memories together, and fall in love with them, yourselves and life. And then, most importantly, stay committed.

Career planning: a thought one does ponder over while pursuing engineering

                      


"If you're good at something, do it after engineering"

Read this quote somewhere, posted by team TVF, and just couldn't resist appreciating it's aptness with reference to the current trend in India.

There's another humorous yet thought provoking saying in Bangalore which goes like- "If you throw a stone in a street in Bangalore, it would either hit a dog or an engineer."

However weird it might all sound, yet one cannot deny it's authenticity. However humorous it may sound, it's definitely a  grave issue as far as the problem of employment of Indian youth is considered.

It's been so for a while now that a large population of unemployed youth is produced every year. This mismatch between the number of graduates and the number of job openings is either due to the fact that only limited job opportunities are present and the number of graduating students per year is huge or due to the fact that a large number of these graduates are rather unemployable.

As a matter of fact, both are true. There are engineering colleges opening up in every nook and corner of the city. Students tend to take up many of such technical courses which are not so much in demand, and hence after graduating, find themselves in deep waters of unemployment.

Why engineering? As to that, I think it's due to the lack of awareness, and resistivity in people towards change. Gone are the times when the country needed highly skilled technocrats for the ongoing industrial revolution. Presently, we require engineers who are much more of managers, who can manage the already established systems and available labor. Also, it's no longer a hot career option, where 4 years of easy study could land you a high paying job. Once inside an institute, you realize it's neither easy nor as high paying as you had expected it to be. So here, the people outside seem to have made a wrong image, a sort of enhanced one when it comes to engineering.

The first career-related decision is taken in high school. Even if you study in a decent school, there are generally 3 choices available(or at least I had only 3), namely: science (PCM), biology (PCB), and commerce. The top scorers opt for PCM, the mediocre ones go for PCB, which is more of an anti-maths choice, and the average and the below average ones take up commerce. So rather than your own interest and future ambitions, your marks in high school decide your career. And brows would surely be raised if, say, you are a top scorer opting for commerce.

Every child is special. Everyone has their own capabilities and caliber. Making the whole education system a mere race is utterly unfair and disheartening. The current education system gives so much credibility to academics that it overshadows one's physical and extracurricular capabilities- such as sports, games, and performing arts. Even practical knowledge of the subject is weighted less than the theoretical one. Turns out, students seeking jobs lack soft skills, interpersonal skills and practical knowledge of their stream which make employers deem them unemployable.

It feels really wonderful to see so many options opening up for kids these days, if not everywhere, at least in big cities. One can follow performing arts such as music, dance, drama or take up interests such as photography, journalism, mass communication, etc and still not be judged by the society. "Happy is a man who makes an earning out of his hobby" -says Dr. George Bernard Shaw, the famous litterateur of old times. So, it's time parents and guardians started realizing that it's not just the conventional career options to be pursued, and also that every child has his/her own capabilities. Even if they wouldn't be successful on parameters they consider, they would surely be truly happy.

Just a voice over the phone...

We talk endless nights on phones

We skype when seeing each other becomes a vital need

We look and mark up holidays on calendars

We discuss, we plan and we save to meet the expense,

We book tickets; we wait impatiently for the day,

We travel long distances,

We keep in touch to coordinate

And then we finally meet...

Hearts pounding in the anticipation of the moment,

Eyes bright open gazing at each other adoringly,

Lips that inevitably give in to a charming smile,

And arms that clench each other into a warm embrace.

That’s particularly the moment when you feel the long awaited tranquillity...

We talk, we laugh, we party, and we try to clench the losing sands of time

But then we hug and kiss goodbye

And go back to being just a voice over the phone.

                                                   

                                                                                            

A train journey during Simhastha Kumbh Mahaparv

What is religion?  Why does it demand so much from its followers?  How can a person, in his/her old age find so much devotion to travel such large distances in such excruciating conditions in search of something which they themselves are uncertain of finding...?

These questions come floating into my mind as I travel home, with all the academic year-end luggage from college, in a sleeper class train in the tormenting heat of May, in a train for which I paid thrice the amount of the base fare for ticket to the agent who got me last minute booking, and realizing that the sleeper class I boarded was worse than the general class, because of the “Simhastha Kumbh Mahaparv” going on in some place beyond my destination.

Now this was not just some other train journey when we encounter heavy rush. Rush because of competitive exams seems legit, when students, in their early twenty’s struggle their way through the test to grab that one seat for which thousands aspire. Neither was it the rush of the season of holidays, when families and groups of friends plan vacations away from the comforts of home to find solace. All that seems so sensible. But not this one. This particular rush was of old men/women and middle aged men/women, of sadhus and sadhvis and of naga babas and small time merchants and also all other sorts of people seemingly going to attend this Simhastha kumbh – which is a fest held at supposedly that miraculous time of the year or occurring once in a couple of years, when the planets and stars and the nakshatras (as the elite priest association would argue) align themselves in some particular position, and the river Ganges (which is just another river important to a region as it suffices all the water needs of that particular region) becomes holy and pious, and a dip or two in it would endow them with eternal health, peace, prosperity and oneness with god.

But is it sufficient to take a dip in a river and be able to wash oneself of their sins, when they’ve either erred or committed all those crimes, unknowingly or deliberately whatsoever, throughout their lives? Are they not being utterly selfish, or as I feel, trying to be too credulous regarding this theory, of seeking forgiveness for their sins without realizing that they trouble people and damage resources throughout this path of salvation?

(image merely for reference) source: internet

They force the reserved passengers on train to adjust with them and their luggage, or as I saw from my top berth, block the passage and inhibit movement completely, and get into arguments with those claiming their seats. Women keep on singing hymns and prayers in a chorus, litter all the place with their food stuff and heighten the already high summer heat inside.

Now one might judge me to be someone possessing a sense of superiority over such people and such sections of society; but it’s not that I just scorn at these people and their misery; I do empathize with them as well. These women sitting on the floor of the coach in the passages between seats looked miserable, their heads covered with a end of their saree (as it is mandatory in some orthodox Indian families) – which veiled their grey haired or patchy or hair-less scalp, which has been a result of lifelong poverty and age taking its toll on the body. They seem somewhat lost, their eyes gazing endlessly at a point, interrupted by small conversations and periodic chanting. They seem to fool themselves in the name of devotion while they know it all along, that nothing is going to change their fate. They are sick and tired but still pushing hard, finding it satisfactory to curse those who hurt, and bless those who help during their whole journey. Preconceived notions and superstitious beliefs so well interwoven with their souls that it paralyses their logic and sense of rationalism.  

They call the river holy but pollute it by bathing in them in such huge numbers, submerging in them the idols of gods and goddesses (i.e visarjan), even defecating in these rivers, and hoping and believing for the river to purge their souls as a matter of an obvious fact.

And as to the fact that it is holy, we can gather numerous incidents of mishaps and accidents occurring in such “holy” places like temples and “teeraths”. Why would god do this to his followers? It’s because we’ve gone too far in pleasing him. God is not demanding, it’s the religion that demands in the name of god.

So we should understand that it is high time we started differentiating between spirituality and religion, i.e. the religion in all its ritualistic form. We fail to understand what started then as basic social teachings in that era, have transformed into superstitions and hard-and-fast rules of religion in the present day. Spirituality in its very basic meaning refers to be in a state of harmony with oneself, and creating a clean and peaceful environment around to achieve perpetual happiness. A rational and logical approach to everything helps us attain this state of harmony with self as well as the surroundings. Senseless pursuance of rituals that no one knows why they’re being followed or performed but followed/performed  just because the religion demands, is nothing but blind faith and foolishness.